


It Was Always You

by TortiTabby



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Crying, Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Fix-It, Grief/Mourning, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Songfic, Through the Years, but like not for long because spoiler alert eddie aint gonna stay dead in any of my fics lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:15:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22029925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TortiTabby/pseuds/TortiTabby
Summary: I'm the light blinking at the end of the roadBlink back, to let me know(It was always you)
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 7
Kudos: 40





	It Was Always You

**Author's Note:**

> song is "Always" by Panic at the disco  
>   
> thank you so much Asher for beta reading for me!!!

**_When the world gets too heavy_ **

**_Put it on my back_ **

**_I'll be your levy_ **

**_You are taking me apart_ **

**_Like bad glue_ **

**_On a get well card_ **

Eddie was standing in the middle of Richie’s living room with the phone pressed to his ear and a green tinge to his cheeks. His mother’s squeaky voice was loud enough for Richie to hear.

“Eddie! Eddie come back here right now! Have you seen the news? There are people  _ dying _ from the flu that is going around. You can’t leave and get sick Eddie what would  _ I _ do?” 

Eddie held the phone away from his ear and winced. 

“Tell her it’s raining over here.” Richie hissed in a whisper. 

Eddie arched an eyebrow and shrugged. Richie manhandled the phone away from him.

“Mrs. Kaspbrak! It’s Richie! We were about to leave but the weather has gotten pretty nasty over here.”

“Oh, dear.”

“Yeah.” He glanced at Eddie and gave a thumbs up.

“It’s not raining here, but it  _ is _ overcast.” He had her right where he wanted her.

“It lightened up a bit, but it’s real nasty over here, Mrs. K. Want to talk to my dad? Eddie could stay over for dinner at least until it passes.”

“Oh I don’t think that’s necessary. I-”

“Hello?” Richie made his voice go gruff and deep. It sounded nothing like his father but it isn’t like Eddie’s mom was the biggest at socializing, so they were safe.

“Mr. Tozier? I-”

“A little rain ain’t gonna kill nobody. Oh it’s coming down pretty bad. Your boy is welcome to stay here but I think he should just suck it up and go home.”

There was silence at the end of the phone and Eddie stared holes into the side of Richie’s head. He hoped his cheeks didn’t flush with the attention. Eddie would be sure to call him out on blushing and he’d never hear the end of it. The thought made him grin stupidly.

Eddie cocked his head to the side in question so Richie pointed to the phone and proceeded to make vulgar hand motions. 

Eddie gagged and shoved Richie away from him. 

“Let me talk to Eddie.” Mrs. Kaspbrak finally said. 

Richie handed the phone over.

“Yeah mom. No. No I told you when I sleep over I have my own sleeping bag, I don’t use their blankets.” 

Richie rolled his eyes.

“I’ll be home tomorrow. I have my inhaler. Thanks mommy. Bye.” 

He hung up before she could get another word in and looked excitedly over at Richie.

“You better hope she doesn’t look into if it rained tonight or not, Trashmouth.” Eddie warned but he was smiling. 

He let out a breath and relaxed his shoulders. Richie was thrilled, it was no small feat for Eddie Kaspbrak to loosen up. 

They spent the rest of the night bickering over comic books. Richie’s mom let them order pizza and eat it in his room.

They started getting ready for bed and organized Richie’s small single bed. 

“No kicking me in the face this time, Eds. We’re going to have to spoon or something instead of feet to head especially in that hammock if you keep kicking me in the face. I know you say it isn’t on purpose but I happen to also know that _you_ _know_ that that’s bullshit.” He turned around expecting a laugh or a satisfied smirk.

He wasn’t expecting Eddie to be looking at him so intently. He offered Richie a soft smile. “Thanks for today, Rich.” He said in a small voice.

“Anytime, Eds. I’ll work on more voices, just in case.” It was only half joking.

“Don’t call me that.” Eddie said with a soft laugh.

**_I'm a fly that's trapped_ **

**_In a web_ **

**_But I'm thinking that_ **

**_My spider's dead_ **

**_Lonely, lonely little life_ **

**_I could kid myself_ **

**_In thinking that I'm fine_ **

Richie collapsed onto his beat up couch. The television was on some for background noise but it didn’t do enough to fill the silence. The silence of the room, his apartment. His life. 

He sighed.

He didn’t go back on tour for another three weeks. He’d take himself to the movies or try to find something entertaining to do. 

He hated the off time. Being forced to be face to face with how empty his life was when he wasn’t on stage was something he had become pretty good at dancing around.

Except for nights like these. 

He was so envious of the people who had an entourage of best friends. He couldn’t imagine having a big group of people so close to him.

His phone lit up. His manager was texting him. At a glance Richie was hopeful it was an invitation to go out and do something and be anywhere but alone in his apartment, but it was just contract information he had to go over.

His manager liked to act like a close friend, but Richie knew he wasn’t ever going to be anywhere near his manager’s first pick for company.

He flipped through the channels and landed on an old 80’s movie that he was sure he went and saw hundreds of times when it came out. It somehow always managed to make him feel less alone.

**_I’m the light blinking at the end of the road. Blink back to let me know._ **

“Are you okay?” 

Richie glanced over at Eddie. 

He was older and different but so familiar. It was still Eddie’s face. Eddie’s eyerolls and scoffs and angry rebuttals. Eddie's annoyed laughter at Richie’s dumb jokes.

Richie ached at the thought of somehow forgetting him. 

“Am I okay? Eddie spaghetti there’s a hole in your face. Because you pulled a knife out of it. And then you  _ stabbed _ the asshole with it.”

Eddie just stared at him. 

“It’s fucked up but I’ll be alright, Eds.” He knocked his shoulder into Eddie's.

“It’s Eddie, Trashmouth.”

“Eddie Trashmouth. I haven’t talked to you in years and this is the kind of proposal I get? Well, alright. It’s pretty cute. I guess-”

“Shut the fuck up.” Eddie laughed before he winced and grabbed his bandaged cheek. He tried to shoot Richie a dirty look but just ended up looking amused.

**_I'm the light blinking at the end of the road_ **

**_Blink back, to let me know_ **

**_That I'm skin and bone_ **

**_Just a king and rusty throne_ **

**_Oh, the castle's under siege_ **

**_But the sign outside says 'leave me alone'_ **

Beverly had been on the phone with Richie for close to an hour with neither of them really talking. Everything just felt too hard after the sewers. 

“Richie, why don’t I come out there? I don’t like you being all alone and I know you’re hurti-”

“Bev, I’m fine. It’s all fine.” Richie tried not to pay too much attention to how monotone and flat his voice was. “You know me. I’m gonna go on stage, do a couple of dick jokes and go home. All in a day’s work.” 

“Rich. I’m booking a flight. Do you want me and Ben or just me?”

Richie sighed. “I can’t talk about him, Bev. I can’t do it. I have been trying to think of anything else for what? Two weeks now? I wish I could just forget everything from Derry all over again.” 

The other end of the phone was silent save for a few stray sniffles. Richie didn’t have the energy to comfort her.

“We don’t have to talk about Eddie.” She said in a firm voice a few minutes later. “You’re our friend and we love you, Rich. We’re going to come and take care of you. You would for me, if it was Ben.” 

Richie had nothing to say to that and any implication it carried. “Okay.” He finally said in a small voice. 

She told him she loved him and had Ben shout it from across the room. She promised to see him within twenty four hours and hung up to get her airfare sorted out. She wasn’t wasting any time. 

He tossed his phone across the floor and put his face in his hands. 

Just as he made the executive decision to get less and less sober and pass out for the night there was a knock on his front door.

“Bev?” He huffed out a dry laugh. “If you were already in LA when you called me I’m going to have to pretend to be offended.” 

He swung the door open and stopped dead. 

“It’s not Bev.”

Eddie stood in his doorway staring at him. He was the same as Richie remembered from that day, cheek bandaged up, hardened exasperated expression and quietly full of nerves. He had a large bag slung over his shoulder.

He was looking at Richie, really staring at him and seeing everything Richie tried to hide or play off for years.

“Eddie?” Richie’s knees knocked together. “How you were- and they, we, _left_ _you_. It- it-” Richie struggled to catch is breath.

“See this is why it was a stupid fucking idea to burn my inhaler. Here, go sit down and let’s breathe together. Come on, Trashmouth, calm down.”

They got to the couch and sat together, practically on each other’s laps. 

Richie looked back up at Eddie and to his horror burst into tears.

His chest wracked with sobs as he clutched onto Eddie’s polo shirt like his life depended on it. 

“If this isn’t real. If this is some sort of sick joke- if this is that  _ fucking _ clown I  _ can’t _ -”

“Hey! Woah, it’s okay, Rich. It’s okay Richie. I’m okay and I’m here.” 

Eddie wrapped an arm around Richie and rocked them gently. 

“I’m not sure what happened. I woke up and everything was pretty much collapsed. There’s not a scratch on my chest.” 

Richie placed his hand over Eddie’s shirt where the claw had pierced through him.

“I had to find my way out and then go to New York. It took a few days to get out of that shit hole but it was alright. I needed to pick up my things. I left Myra. I- She- well _you_ _know_.” Richie didn’t say anything. He wasn’t going to be the one to mention the likeness to Eddie’s late mom. “I needed to wake up and do what I wanted to do, be who I wanted to be. Live without fear.” 

“Eds we just fucking  _ left _ you there.”

“Richie I should be dead. Do you know how pissed off I’d be if I woke up and all five of you were crushed to death by rubble and debris? Not to mention all of the other hazards that were down there. If you would have stayed you could have-”

That was definitely Eddie. Richie pulled Eddie close and took a deep breath before pushing his face into his neck.

Eddie tightened his own grip on Richie. “I’m sorry I didn’t call. I figured this had to be an in person kind of thing. I needed to sort some things out first.” 

Richie backed up and wiped at his eyes with the back of his sleeve. “You came straight here from your house? Nobody else knows?”

Eddie leaned forward and pressed small kiss against Richie’s lips. “I’m sorry.”

“For kicking ass? Or for saving me from the Deadlights?”

Eddie frowned and looked away but Richie ducked into his line of sight and shook his head. “I love you. I fucking love you and have since we were lame little kids, Eds. That better be all the belongings you need from New York in that bag. I’m still not one hundred percent convinced this isn’t just the best dream that is going to  _ wreck _ me when I wake up.” 

Eddie kissed him harder, passionately with each hand cupping either side of Richie’s face. He ran his thumbs under the frames of Richie’s glasses and wiped the tears away. 

Richie touched his lips gently. “Okay, I think I’m starting to believe you’re real. There’s still a little doubt, you might want to convince me.” 

Eddie smirked and rolled his eyes before leaning back in. 

**_It was always you_ **

**_Falling for me_ **

**_Now there's always time_ **

**_Calling for me_ **

**_I'm the light blinking at the end of the road_ **

**_Blink back to let me know_ **

**_(It was always you)_ **


End file.
